A month after I got married, A (the ex-SO and father to my lost babies) also got married. She is 17 years younger than him and in the prime of childbearing life. And yesterday afternoon A emailed me to say that his son was born at the weekend.
I am completely happy with my life as it is now, I wouldn't change S for anything and being childless no longer bears the same sharp pain as it used to. And I am happy that A has got everything he ever wanted.
But oh, reader, how I am struggling with how to word my congratulatory email to A. Because deep, deep inside I can't help but think "it isn't fair". I want my better angels to surface and take hold but they appear to be AWOL...
