It is very quiet chez Illanare. Recently it has been almost totally silent.
We come home.
I prepare supper and we eat it, usually in front of BB.C New.s 24.
A then retires to the bedroom with his laptop and / or Kindl£.
I do the washing up, plus or minus some laundry then spend some time on the interwebs.
Then I go to bed and A relocates to the living room until he comes to bed, usually a couple of hours later.
Seems like he can't stand to be in the same room as me. And I don't know what I did wrong or how to fix it.
Thursday, 27 January 2011
Thursday, 20 January 2011
Saturday, 8 January 2011
a start
So Project "Reclaiming Myself" has got off to a snail's pace start. Turns out that life is not like a film or sitcom and isn't a series of montage shots of me jogging, smiling over a supper of green leaves and air and watching the scales register ever lower to a background of "Don't Stop Believing". Apprently I have to work for it. I feel cheated...
Anyway, 2kg lost, although that has been due to being sick since Wednesday. Proper unwell involving much worshipping at the porcelain altar, a visit from the emergency doctor and an injection in my posterior, among other glamourous scenes.
And I have convinced / blackmailed some friends into joining me at a Zumb@ class after work once a week, starting in February. More than a little nervous about that but it should be fun if nothing else.
So, with more work, the woman I was - or at least the post-babyloss version of her - could be making a reappearance this year :-)
Anyway, 2kg lost, although that has been due to being sick since Wednesday. Proper unwell involving much worshipping at the porcelain altar, a visit from the emergency doctor and an injection in my posterior, among other glamourous scenes.
And I have convinced / blackmailed some friends into joining me at a Zumb@ class after work once a week, starting in February. More than a little nervous about that but it should be fun if nothing else.
So, with more work, the woman I was - or at least the post-babyloss version of her - could be making a reappearance this year :-)
Sunday, 2 January 2011
the woman I was
Before April 2008 I was:
slim-ish (healthy BMI of 24)
happy
confident in myself, my body, my relationship
fit and active (went to the gym three times a week)
interested and motivated
Then we lost Starchild and everything, especially I, changed. I have spent the last two and a half years:
getting progressively heavier and heavier and am now at the most I have ever weighed (BMI of 29 *gulp*)
going from being the most unhappy I have ever been to numbly dragging myself from one day to the next
unsure of everything
a couch potato
staring at either my laptop or TV in the evenings, not really taking that much in
I want to go back to at least some semblance of the woman that I was. I spent last year almost drowing in sadness, I can't, and won't, do the same this year.
slim-ish (healthy BMI of 24)
happy
confident in myself, my body, my relationship
fit and active (went to the gym three times a week)
interested and motivated
Then we lost Starchild and everything, especially I, changed. I have spent the last two and a half years:
getting progressively heavier and heavier and am now at the most I have ever weighed (BMI of 29 *gulp*)
going from being the most unhappy I have ever been to numbly dragging myself from one day to the next
unsure of everything
a couch potato
staring at either my laptop or TV in the evenings, not really taking that much in
I want to go back to at least some semblance of the woman that I was. I spent last year almost drowing in sadness, I can't, and won't, do the same this year.
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