TW3

The title of this post refers to an old BBC programme. Similarities end with the title.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/That_Was_The_Week_That_Was

So it's been a little bit of a hit-and-miss week. First ovulation scan on Tuesday. The pregnant doctor, after waving the Magic Libido-Vanishing Wand, said "hmm." Never a sound you want to hear.
"There is nothing to see on the left," she continued, pushing the probe over to emphasise her point. "And only a very small follicle on the right" (pulls probe over to the other side briskly). "Come back on Friday but do an ovulation test on Thursday."

Despite my misgivings (I have PCOS and seem to always test positive on an OPK, even when I was pregnant - I did a test for a laugh. I didn't get out much during the most recent first trimester), I duly PIAC and yep, tested positive. So I had to go back in for another scan on Thursday morning, it showed zero movement on follicles but the doctor decided I needed to have a blood test. And another scan on Friday. And another blood test on Friday (this time a student nurse who missed the vein twice in my right arm before the supervising nurse stepped in and did a little vein chasing in my left).

Anyway, scans seem to indicate that I am not going to ovulate this month. I have to go in for another scan tomorrow morning to confirm, but the single, non-growing follicle seems to indicate that this has been a complete waste of Clomid.

The news has affected us both in different, yet similar, ways. I have reached for chocolate in all its varied and delicious forms and been on the verge of tears every waking moment. Significant Other has, apparently (thank you for sharing, honey), been "thinking of what might have been had we not met" and yesterday chose to tell me that earlier this year he had looked up an ex-girlfriend ("we went out for a year, I had real hopes but it didn't work out") on F@ceb00k and found that she had married someone else and had a baby ("oh well, but I'm glad she's happy").

He's not a bad person, he's just sad. The past 18 or so months have been tough on both of us, but sometimes I think tougher on him because the fertility problems are mine and not his.

I just wish that he would think things through before he says them.

floods of tears

My darling cat spent a good while this afternoon sneezing and vigourously washing her little nose. She's stopped now, ambled into the kitchen and had a snack, settled back onto her favourite red jumper and is sound asleep.

I know that cat sneezes can be caused by anything and can mean anything. My darling cat is 15 years old and has (according to the vet) bad teeth. Google Vet tells me that infected dental abscesses can be the cause of sneezing... I completely freaked out and have spent the last 30 minutes in floods of tears.

Tears of worry for my darling cat, tears of hope for POAS-ing on Friday, tears because I think I have PMT (hence the tears) and therefore tears of advance disappointment for Friday. I am now bunged up, nasal, red-eyed and puffy-faced.

I have to get over myself and CHILL!! :-)