waving and drowning

I'm still here.  And mostly doing okay, although of course I have my melting-into-a-puddle-of-pathetic moments.

I went back to work on Thursday, after two-and-a-half weeks off.  It wasn't easy but I got through it and yesterday was much better.

Waving:  I've lost half a stone (7lbs) without even trying.
Drowning:  I have next to no appetite still and each mouthful I force myself to take results in waves of nausea.
Waving:  I've stopped having panic attacks every time I step outside so have been going shopping, to the gym, to work and out with friends as normal.
Drowning:  Coming back to a silent flat hurts anew each time.
Waving:  I have more space in the wardrobe and drawers for my stuff.
Drowning:  I have been packing up what A left behind which, well, sucks.

Really big, frantically excited waving:  Dr Beardie and I learnt yesterday that our submission for a set of talks at an international meeting was accepted.  The USA in December, baby!  I'm thrilled to bits - but please remind me of this feeling in 7 months time when I am sick to my stomach with nerves :-)

Hugely grateful, touched and heartfelt waving:  My friends both IRL and here in this online community (and also Lovely Therapist) have been so awesome and supportive and such all-round good eggs that I will never be able to properly thank you.