Saturday, 5 February 2011

a day like any other

Every day I think about my babies.
Tomorrow will be the same.
Every day I miss my babies.
Tomorrow will be the same.
Every day I wonder what Starchild and Bean and Little Stars would look like now.
Tomorrow will be the same.
Every day the hole in my heart is almost tangible.
Tomorrow will be the same.
Every day there is something missing.
Tomorrow will be the same.
Every day something, some thought, some sight, will make me catch my breath at the pain of loss.
Tomorrow will be the same.

Tomorrow is just another day like any other; I will mourn my babies no more or less than today.  But tomorrow is 6th February and two years to the day that we lost our precious daughter Bean and it hurts so much that I feel like I am going to shatter into shards.
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13 comments:

  1. Paige5 February 2011 at 13:50

    I'm lost inside this poem and crying for your children and mine.

    xoxo

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  2. cdg5 February 2011 at 14:27

    Lovely poem. I am so sorry that you are dealign with this and wish more than anything that you could be hugging your sweet babies right now. Thinking of you and Bean. Love to you....

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  3. Pearl5 February 2011 at 14:49

    So sad and beautiful, thank you for sharing. I wish I could send you my hugs. I sometimes think of erasing certain days from the calendar and spending them in bed watching movies and eating chocolate.

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  4. Beth5 February 2011 at 14:59

    Oh Illanare. Two years. It sounds like such a long time, but it's not. It's really not.

    I'll be remembering Bean with you tomorrow.

    Much love xxx

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  5. Anonymous5 February 2011 at 16:06

    ((((HUGS)))) I don't know what else to say.

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  6. Michele5 February 2011 at 20:45

    so true... so true...
    thinking of you...

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  7. Noelle5 February 2011 at 21:02

    I am thinking of you and your little baby. I'm so sorry.

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  8. ~stinkb0mb~5 February 2011 at 23:03

    i always struggled when the weeks turned into months and then the months turned into years.

    i thought the other day what i should have and it made me catch my own breath - physical pain in my chest.

    it doesnt get easier. hell im not even sure if it even gets bearable but somehow time still marches on.

    i will be remembering with you tomorrow my friend and every day after that.

    much love

    ~x~

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  9. tireegal686 February 2011 at 05:28

    Oh dear Illanare
    I am thinking of your sweet Bean with you. Why is there so much pain in this life? Why?
    It does not make sense.
    Sending you so much love.

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  10. Alex6 February 2011 at 14:13

    Sending you a hug today. And remembering your lost babies..,

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  11. Anonymous6 February 2011 at 19:21

    I'm sorry. xxx

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  12. msfitzita7 February 2011 at 16:00

    So lovely and so sad and so true.

    Thinking of you and Bean and the unfairness of it all.

    ((((HUGS)))) my friend.

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  13. Mali15 February 2011 at 01:31

    Hi, and thanks so much for visiting my blog. I'm so sorry you're feeling this, and I know you've probably read me write this already - but I can tell you it DOES get easier. You do remember without the sharp pain and catch of breath - not always, not 100% of the time, but most of the time. It becomes part of you and you never forget, but it becomes much less painful. Those first few years were painful, but now eight years on from my last loss, seven years since we decided to live the childless/childfree life, I can honestly say that I have days and weeks when it doesn't hurt. But it doesn't mean that I don't remember.

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