So Significant Other and I have had two appointments with the counsellor at Rel@te. She's a very nice woman and I think that we will - that we are - getting on with her.
I have been pleasantly amazed by Significant Other's willingness to talk at these appointments, in fact the first one was 90% focussed on him. At the end of the first session he said that he "felt a bit better" but at last week's appointment he said that he had been feeling even more down...
I don't know if I am doing the right thing, dear Interwebs, by making us do this. I want to do everything I can to save our relationship but I don't want to make Significant Other even more unhappy than he is already.
This is all so hard. And I'm very tired.
Other's or Aunties' Day
8 hours ago
Illanare I truly wish I had answers to give you but I don't.
ReplyDeleteI think it's great that he's been so willing to not only GO to counselling but then actually participate once he's there. Half the battle is getting men to even go in the first instance.
The key thing to remember with counselling is that as things are discussed and things are brought out into the open, it will be like a rollercoaster. It will feel good to talk about things, but then the more you talk, the more you have to deal with and so lows are to be expected after the highs of getting stuff out and talking about it.
I don't think you're "making" either of you attend counselling because if either or neither of you wanted to do it, then you wouldn't attend or you would but probably not past the first one or few sessions.
You may also find that counselling may not work for you, it doesn't work for everyone but at least you're both giving it a try and honestly that's all you can do. Try it, see if it works, if it does great.
I'm wishing nothing but clarity for you both and the hope that Significant Other can see that deep down you're still the girl he fell in love with, you're just a little stronger now (which you ARE - even if you don't feel it) than when you first got together.
Big hugs from the other side of the world....
xxxxx
I have never been to counselling but I have friends who have and all I wanted to say is that counselling is hard. You have good and bad sessions, the fact that your husband felt good after the first session and fed up after the second session is, as far as I am concerned, normal.
ReplyDeleteHow about you? How do you feel?
I can only imagine how hard it is. I'm so sad for you right now and hope like hell that this can help you and significant other weather this storm. (((BIG hugs)))
ReplyDeleteI hope this helps. Thinking of you.
ReplyDelete((HUGS))