I think, dear Interwebs, that I may be a little bit depressed (pause while you roll your eyes and mutter "no sh1t, Sherlock").
Thank you all for your comments on my last post. They made me ask myself some questions and then, the next day at our Rel@te appointment, I took the depression score the therapist had given Significant Other several weeks before. (She asked me to do it at the time but I didn't feel the need). Anyway, it came out at "moderate depression". I didn't believe it and took it again at home - same score. I then took an online test, this time a different one but the result was the same: moderate depression.
I then spent a couple of days denying it (but it is Significant Other who is depressed, not I!), panicking (but I need to look after Significant Other, how can I do that if I'm depressed!), and being plain idiotic (but why am I depressed!). Then finally over the weekend I realised that yes, I am currently a little bit off-kilter.
My next task is to do something about it.
Other's or Aunties' Day
8 hours ago
GOOD! Well, not good that you are depressed. But good that you have identified this as a problem. It is very real. The chemicals and hormones in our brains do all kinds of weird things, and traumatic events often kick them off of the healthy course. It is really, really hard to get them back into the right track without some outside help.
ReplyDeleteBeing proactive is the best medicine there is to getting out of your rut. We are all here for you and we love you!!!
I am sure this is a very hard realization to get to. I feel the same about myself and know that I am clearly not myself and have some depressive symptoms at the present time. I am a therapist in my real life and see a therapist weekly myself. I think it has been most helpful. My therapist specializes in IF issues and has been through IVF herself so that is helpful to me. Take care of yourself....
ReplyDeleteYou know when they do those safety demonstations on the plane, they say to put on your oxygen mask before helping others... well, this situation sounds similar. You need to get your mask on before you can be there for your man. I applaud your getting help. I LOVE my therapist and she was a real life-line for me, especially when I lost my job and got diagnosed with cancer the same week (10 years ago).
ReplyDeleteOh, and we are all here for you, too!
A step in the right direction!! When I told our therapist that Diver Dude was depressed she raised her eye brows and said "and you're not?". It's a difficult situation because you can't support each other. Just take care of yourself and trust that he will take care of himself.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs!
Acknowledging the problem is of course the first step. It's not easy if you have no support from Significant Other, but I'm confident yoyu'll get through this. Can we do anything from the blogsphere? Love, Fran
ReplyDeleteThe hardest part is admitting that there may be a problem - you've done that. The rest is easy.
ReplyDeleteMy only advice is to take one day at a time. Tomorrow concentrate on getting to the end of it. Worry about the next - on that day not before it.
Big hugs, you'll get through this and we'll all be here supporting you while you do.
xxx
what jem says. you can't take care of SO without taking care of yourself first.
ReplyDeletei'm glad you've realised this. you can do something about it now. and if we can help we will.
i can't find your email address and i wanted to email you. mine is burningthepast at gmail dot com if you ever need me.
xx
Sending love Illanare and hope that you get the support and care you need to feel strong again. I'm sorry I've been totally out of the loop with what's going on for you - what an emotionally tumultuous time you've had - I just came back after an absence and read your posts and want you to know that you are in my thoughts xxxx
ReplyDelete