catch up

I've been away from my blog for a while because I've been a bit depressed of late.  I'm having trouble coming to terms with the events of the past 3 years, and am unattractively mopey.

Anyhoo.  Apart from going to work, coming home and feeling sorry for myself, I've also been doing some fun things.  Like a weekend on the south coast for my cousin's wedding.

And down to the West Country for a long weekend of body-boarding for my birthday.

And finally a week in Menorca with the girls, where we did a whole load of nothing at all except eating, walking and lying in the sun reading, and loved every moment.

m.i.a...

...my blogging and commenting mojo, that is.

I've been a bad blogger lately and a terrible commenter (although I do try to leave a pebble when I don't have words - thank you, Miss Ruby!).  Truth be told I seem to have misplaced my zest for life in general recently.  I hope I can get it back soon but in the meantime I'm still interested in what is going on in all your worlds :-)

meh, meh, meh

You are all lovely. Thank you for your comments on my last post, asking whether Significant Other / we are getting help. We are still going to see the Lovely Therapist at Rel@ate on a weekly basis, and the sessions are helpful, in the main. But I think that even Lovely Therapist last week was getting a bit frustrated at our lack of progress; she even asked us why we are still together if we are making each other so miserable.

Neither one of us could answer.

Significant Other is now seeing a therapist by himself, and whether we carry on going to see Lovely Therapist is up for discussion. He is also seriously considering taking some medication but can't quite bring himself to do that yet.

And me? I'm just taking everything one day at a time.

peaks and troughs

I knew that dealing with Significant Other's depression would be a case of peaks and troughs. I just didn't realise that I would be looking back at what I called a trough 2 months ago and find that it was in fact a peak.

huh

I think, dear Interwebs, that I may be a little bit depressed (pause while you roll your eyes and mutter "no sh1t, Sherlock").

Thank you all for your comments on my last post. They made me ask myself some questions and then, the next day at our Rel@te appointment, I took the depression score the therapist had given Significant Other several weeks before. (She asked me to do it at the time but I didn't feel the need). Anyway, it came out at "moderate depression". I didn't believe it and took it again at home - same score. I then took an online test, this time a different one but the result was the same: moderate depression.

I then spent a couple of days denying it (but it is Significant Other who is depressed, not I!), panicking (but I need to look after Significant Other, how can I do that if I'm depressed!), and being plain idiotic (but why am I depressed!). Then finally over the weekend I realised that yes, I am currently a little bit off-kilter.

My next task is to do something about it.