We are not doing so well, Significant Other and I. I know that is to be expected, given his executive decision to call a halt to our TTC and his already-present depression, but it is disquieting just the same.
Significant Other is a taciturn man at the best of times and these being quite far from the best of times, he's now almost mute. He hasn't broached The Subject since his kick-in-the-stomach announcement last weekend, and I, in deference to his depression, am too scared to do so myself. We talk on an everyday level, of course - "what would you like for dinner tonight", "how was work", and "did you hear what the weather is meant to be today" being a few of the scintillating conversations we have.
But while outwardly I am the personification of Keep Calm and Carry On, inside my thoughts are hurtling back and forth and up and down and round, banging against each other and the walls of my brain. Bile-bitter, angry thoughts and furious, fist-shaking-at-the-universe questions.
"A Place of Greater Safety" by Hilary Mantel
18 hours ago
Sweetie, I know too well what you're going through. Have you talked about seeing someone to help you sort through these emotions?
ReplyDeleteI wish there was something i could do to help you through this. it just sucks on so many levels. thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteit's so unfair. i wish there was something i could do or say :(
ReplyDeleteDear Illanare,
ReplyDeleteI hope you are able to find a place to examine those emotions and all the thoughts that are swirling around in your head. It must be excruciating not to be able to talk about it with your DH. I'm so sorry:(