ripping off the plaster

I'm generally a "rip the plaster off quickly" type of gal but that doesn't work so well when said plaster is actually a wound dressing the size of one's hand, stuck to the underside of one's boob. In order to change the dressing I have to hold up my breast with one hand (hey, I'm 41 and losing elasticity), unstick the dressing with the other hand and hold down the skin it's being ripped from with a third hand. So straight away you see the problem?

On the first morning I asked Significant Other for help. He very nearly touched the pad under the dressing, ran swearing to the bathroom where he washed his hands under scalding hot water for five minutes and then applied about half a little plastic bottle of antiseptic gel because "we don't know what you've got and I might have got some on me". Charming though this display of concern for my wellbeing was, I felt it best to carry on unaided... I now have the process down to a fine art where I dispense with holding down the skin and simply rip - but I have added swearing long and loud and this seems to help.

Microscopy came back negative (yay), but it means that we don't know what the whole lump thing is all about (meh) so the Mad Professor has decided better out than in and has referred me to a surgeon (eek).

And the UK is still under a blanket of snow. Isn't this an amazing picture?