last days

So on Saturday morning, Significant Other and I got all spontaneous and we hired a car and I drove us to where we could catch a steam train.
We raced the sunset to Hervey B@y where we had a romantic meal amid sparkly lights.


The next morning we watched the sun rise over the marina.

We stopped for lunch at Tin C@n B@y on the way back here.


And today we walked on the beach.

Just him and me, and it was lovely.

raving

We interupt the usual schedule of ranting at the universe to rave over Australia, and in particular, QLD. I have been here twice before but I had forgotten:

The air! Fresh like nothing you whiff in London, even on the breeziest of days.

The tomatoes! I hate them usually, it's a texture thing perhaps but I think that they come straight from Satan's armpit at home but here - so sweet and full of flavour. Nom, nom, nom.

The water! There is a shortage because of a long-standing drought so showers are no longer than 4 minutes long, but it is so soft that my skin feels like velvet and my hair is as soft as my darling little cat's fur.

The laid-backitude! If that isn't a word, it should be. The waiter at the Hervey B@y marina bistro (more on that in another post) last night waved us off with a cheery "toodles!"

And last but not least - the plasticised money! I dropped a twenty dollar bill briefly into the sink this morning and it is none the worse for wear.

I know that there is still a lot of poo to deal with in my life but - right here, right now I am happy.

improvement

You are all, every one of you, both awesome and right.

I can't tell you how much your comments and support have helped. I took your advice as, to a woman, you all suggested that I stop covering things up. So, when not-MIL asked yesterday morning "is Significant Other okay?" I said "well he is rather depressed". Not-MIL said nothing more on the topic to me but I heard her say something to not-FIL and later on in the day Significant Other was taken off for a father-son chat.

Before that, however, I also took a deep breath and spoke to Significant Other on Sunday night and told him that I thought he was being a bit unfair on me by shutting himself in the bedroom and leaving me to entertain his parents alone. I mentioned that this was all very difficult for me as well and told him that I was feeling sad and very homesick. I also said - not threatening, but simply stating the facts, that if things didn't get better, I was going to go home on Friday (it is not-MIL's birthday on Thursday).

And yesterday was a lovely day. Significant Other made me coffee in the morning, did his best to enjoy himself on a river cruise despite the rain, joined in the chatter around the lunch table and took me off for a walk on our own afterwards.

This is all your doing, dear interwebs, because you gave me the support I needed to find the courage to talk to Significant Other. So again - thank you!

Edited to add - just noticed that Blogger put the date and time of this post as if I were publishing in England normal, it is in fact Tuesday morning as I write this.

whimpering

I know that I am on holiday in a lovely part of the world and I should really get over myself but...I'm blue. Very blue.

Significant Other is barely speaking to me and spends most of his waking time lying on the bed in our room, leaving me to pretend that everything is fine to his parents.

My tummy hurts and I have constant nausea.

I'm back in the same state as where we lost Starchild 2 years ago. And even though we are an hour away from where it all happened (Brisb@ne), every time I turn my head I seem to be back in 2008.

I know that this is pathetic but - I'm thousands of miles from home and I could really do with a hug, dear Interwebs.

misnomer

It took almost 2 days of travel to get here - 6 hours from London to Dub@i, 16 hours from Duba@i to Sydney, 6 hour wait in Sydney, 1.5 hours from Sydney to the Sunshine Coast.

Ah the Sunshine Coast - what images does that name conjure up? Sun, warmth, sea, surf.

I'm sitting under the heater, my cardigan zipped up to my chin and the hood snug over my ears after a cold and rainy day, part of which was spent buying me a coat. Everyone I have spoken to today has agreed that we are having an "unusually cold week this week".

Ah well, there is a bookshop opposite and a coffee shop a quick hurtle down the road and we are on holiday so it's not really so bad :-)

travelling

Given that I have been merrily sharing intimate details of my lady-parts over the past year, it feels strange to have been shy of mentioning before that I am leaving London, nay England, for 2 weeks tonight.

Significant Other flew off on Friday and is already in a land down-under and I am leaving on a jet-plane in about 2 hours to meet him there. We are going to spend two weeks with his parents in their holiday apartment in Australia. I guess the reason I didn't mention it before is that I wasn't sure if we would make it to this trip or if Significant Other would have left me by now.

Well, that is one of the reasons. The other reason is that I have met my not-in-laws in the flesh once before, 2 years ago while I was pregnant with Starchild. At that time the plan was to return this year with their 18-month-old grandchild; instead I am going with empty arms, a barren womb and no baby in the future.

On the plus side, of course, I get to spend two weeks on holiday on the other side of the world. And I also get to spend the next ten minutes wandering around staring longingly at unfeasibly large bars of chocolate in Duty Free...

rambling on

When I started this blog a year ago I had no real idea why I was doing it or what it was going to be about.

I wasn't planning on writing about infertility, loss or our struggles to conceive.

I thought that The BFG would be my only reader and I never thought that a year later I would still be rambling on regularly.

I don't even remember how I found Stirrup Queens but every day I thank the blogging stars that I did. This community is amazing and I have "met" some incredible women and the support you have given me has made the ups and downs of the past twelve months easier to bear.

Thank you.