magic wand indeed

Because I was still Flo-free yesterday, 6 days post primolut, I was asked to go in for a session with the magic libido-reducing wand. The pregnant radiographer (dontcha love it?!) had a good peer around my ovaries (no cysts, hooray) and my uterus (thick lining, hooray) and was confident that it would only be a matter of days.

But Aunt Flo showed up this morning, around 4.30 and in an increasingly vicious mood as the day has worn on.

But - she is here and I go for my D3 baseline bloods and ultrasound on Friday.

Oh frabjous day! Callooh, callay!

IVF here we come.

Crikey...

TW3

The title of this post refers to an old BBC programme. Similarities end with the title.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/That_Was_The_Week_That_Was

So it's been a little bit of a hit-and-miss week. First ovulation scan on Tuesday. The pregnant doctor, after waving the Magic Libido-Vanishing Wand, said "hmm." Never a sound you want to hear.
"There is nothing to see on the left," she continued, pushing the probe over to emphasise her point. "And only a very small follicle on the right" (pulls probe over to the other side briskly). "Come back on Friday but do an ovulation test on Thursday."

Despite my misgivings (I have PCOS and seem to always test positive on an OPK, even when I was pregnant - I did a test for a laugh. I didn't get out much during the most recent first trimester), I duly PIAC and yep, tested positive. So I had to go back in for another scan on Thursday morning, it showed zero movement on follicles but the doctor decided I needed to have a blood test. And another scan on Friday. And another blood test on Friday (this time a student nurse who missed the vein twice in my right arm before the supervising nurse stepped in and did a little vein chasing in my left).

Anyway, scans seem to indicate that I am not going to ovulate this month. I have to go in for another scan tomorrow morning to confirm, but the single, non-growing follicle seems to indicate that this has been a complete waste of Clomid.

The news has affected us both in different, yet similar, ways. I have reached for chocolate in all its varied and delicious forms and been on the verge of tears every waking moment. Significant Other has, apparently (thank you for sharing, honey), been "thinking of what might have been had we not met" and yesterday chose to tell me that earlier this year he had looked up an ex-girlfriend ("we went out for a year, I had real hopes but it didn't work out") on F@ceb00k and found that she had married someone else and had a baby ("oh well, but I'm glad she's happy").

He's not a bad person, he's just sad. The past 18 or so months have been tough on both of us, but sometimes I think tougher on him because the fertility problems are mine and not his.

I just wish that he would think things through before he says them.