After my freak-out on this blog about that little blip with S two weeks ago, I decided that I would learn from past mistakes and just let it go when S contacted me the night of our aborted lunch date. We have seen each other a number of times in the past fortnight and each time has been lovely. Loveliest of all was this past Friday. It was one of those spontaneous evenings which end up being great fun. S was meeting me close to my work for a drink, my friend Indie Nurse tagged along for a swift half while waiting for her boyfriend to meet her. When said boyfriend arrived we all had another couple of drinks and the laughter and conversation was flowing so well that we moved on to a nearby restaurant for dinner.
S stayed Friday night at my place and when he'd gone yesterday morning I realised he had left some things behind. I sent him a text offering to meet him at his homeward bound Tube station after work yesterday evening as I was going to be in the area anyway, hand over the stuff and we'd both be on our respective ways within 5 minutes. He texted back "no thanks" and asked that I bring the stuff the next time we meet instead.
I puzzled over it for a while (the stuff he left was the book he's half-way through reading and his favourite jumper so nothing vital but still...) but have now decided that maybe S is uncomfortable with sudden interuptions to routine, even if they are quite minor, and I should stop ambushing him (even though it's unintentional).
Thoughts?
Maybe it's just me, but sometimes when a friend or boyfriend leaves something here, that's a subconscious message that they trust you, and that they'll come back. :)
ReplyDeleteHmmm, that was my thought as well, that maybe he meant to leave some stuff behind. ;)
ReplyDeleteMy thought:
ReplyDeletedating is complicated!
My views (bear in mind I have a very unsuccessful relationship track record)
ReplyDeletePeople a are diff, and men are especially different. Often what seems totally logical to one person (man) is not to another, so whilst to us it seems easy to meet after work when you are in the area, to him it might not seem so. I would try not to read too much into it and just accept that he is happy to collect them when you next see him.
Glad you had such a good date with your friends. That's a good sign.
Moira x
Yes, I think the fact he's not freaking out about leaving stuff at yr place has to be seen in a positive light, and that's all. Men don't know why the react the way we do, so why/how could we?
ReplyDeleteClearly I typed this on my ipad, because it doesn't make sense! What I meant to say was ...
Delete"men don't always know why they react the way they do, so why/how could we?"
Well, maybe he rolled his eyes, faintly disappointed you did not get the hint, and instead of asking him over the next evening to pick up his book and jumper, you offered to bring them closer to where he was. And just shrugged and said 'no, thanks, next time we meet'.
ReplyDeleteI would have construed it positively until you got the entire 'ambushed' arsenal, and until you get to know each other better, you just have to assume, which, as we all know, is ass, and u, and me. Gosh darn, dating IS complicated. I hope you get over this stage (lovely as it may be) soon, and start feeling more secure and leave the guesswork for actual communication.
I think he's just comfy enough to leave his stuff behind. :-) Glad to know the date was fun along with your friend and boyfriend. :-)
ReplyDelete