My mother is in hospital, admitted and operated on yesterday. I spent the day there, and it was pretty grim. It's awful seeing her in pain and distressed and not being able to do anything about it. My father was completely acopic so he needed looking after as well.
When I finally came home last night, I collapsed in a heap of self-pity and panic. I'm an only child and there is just me to deal with things like this, which will only get worse as my parents grow older and more infirm.
To make it worse, all day at the hospital I missed A. He was never really good at moral support but there's no-one to beat him at practical support in a crisis - and we had a few of those during the life-span of our relationship. And he loved my parents, particularly my mother, and she and he had quite a rapport. A is also the only person, apart from my parents, from whom I felt able to ask for help. I'm not very good at asking for help, preferring to muddle along on my own saying "I'm fine" rather than admit to being very far from fine indeed. And because I'm a novice at asking for help, I made a rookie mistake. When I got back from the hospital (early evening) I sent S a text asking if I could go round to his place for a couple of hours and offered to cook supper in exchange. He, predictably, declined (I don't blame him, he works weekends and would have been tired, and it was quite a random request from someone he's only been dating for a couple of months). I shouldn't have asked, I knew that as I pressed "send" but there's no way to recall a text and now I have given him the impression that I am needy and clingy.
Arggh! Dating is hard!
You are not alone.
ReplyDeleteBFG
I understand. Only child with no family
ReplyDeleteTo speak of. My mum died when I was 20 and it was beyond tough. I felt an alone ness I haven't felt since.
You are not needy, you are in need. 2 different things. Frankly asking was a good thing and although no business of mine I think a bit less of S for saying no.
I actually thought you were going to say you texted A. It's good you didn't. I have to admit I would have, it would have been a disastrous idea tho but that has never stopped me! Sending hugs. Hope your
Mum is ok. And you x
Mine at all
Sending love and hugs your way.
ReplyDelete****Hugs**** you're not alone- In situations like this, I always wish there's an transportator (like in Star Trek), so I'd beam over to help out.
ReplyDeleteI'm an only child (on mom's side), so I could imagine what it'd be like when mother's health goes for a worse turn. Hang in there, hoping that your mom will be okay soon.
I agree with the above, you're not alone. And yes, you are in need, not needy, there is a huge difference honey x
ReplyDeleteI don't think your request of S was either random or out of place to be honest. You've been dating for a few months, you're more than friends and in times OF need, you lean on people you trust and like - this is usually, family, friends and partners [long or short term ones!]. Guv and I's relationship was different to most peoples in the early stages, we were engaged really quickly, moved in together within 3 months of dating BUT after we got engaged, so this kind of request would have been a no-brainer "yes of course" answer from Guv.
I just read Guv your post and he said, he can't understand why S said no.
I understand. Only child with no family
ReplyDeleteTo speak of. My mum died when I was 20 and it was beyond tough. I felt an alone ness I haven't felt since. Billig WOW Gold Kaufen
buy runescape gold
I'm SORRY to hear about your Mom. It's always tough to see our loved one(s) in pain and we feel helpless. I don't think what you were doing was clingy, but I was wondering if you told S about your mom's condition and that you needed some mental support or not?
ReplyDeleteAll the best wishes for your mum!
ReplyDelete