and so...

...it's been a challenging couple of weeks chez Illanare and Significant Other. But we have resolved some stuff and put off resolving some others.

First, and most importantly, Significant Other has agreed to get counselling. He's not ready to go down the anti-depressant route yet and I am supportive of this decision. He's a reluctant medicater at the best of times (the man reads the information leaflet each time he needs to take aspirin and then only takes half the recommended dose "just in case"). But he has agreed that he needs help and has made an appointment with the counselling service his workplace provides.

Secondly, he has felt considerably better in the last week since he decided to go away for a couple of weeks on a "boy's own adventure" holiday. We both had to take what remained of our annual leave for the financial year and I am off until just before Easter and he is off until after Easter. Significant Other's favoured mode of travel is to make it up as he goes along, staying in hostels or camping and deciding from one day to the other where to go next. I used to be the same but now, with middle age and a dodgy stomach as extra baggage, I like the comforts of a flushing toilet, running water and a room I don't have to share with the smell of at least 3 strangers' sketchily washed clothing. Significant Other has been putting up with more settled holidays since we met so was thrilled at the chance for "his kind of travel". He left early this morning for Spain and while I already miss him, I was glad to watch him go. I haven't seen him so happy since - well since I was pregnant with Starchild. He clearly really needs this break from everything, even (especially?) me. And, strange though it may seem, I am less worried about him perhaps "doing something" while he's away on his own, than I have been. Probably because I know that he is in his element when he travels. He loves the not knowing where he will be sleeping the next night, the atmosphere of backpacker hostels, and meeting like-minded travellers on buses and trains. Though he might find Spain less challenging than his previous travels (Asia, Central America, Pacific Islands etc), I know that he's going to be happy the next three weeks.

Thirdly - we have decided to give it One Last Try. The clinic suggested IUI with injectables as the way forward for us, so that is what we will be doing with my next cycle. Miraculously I have had 2 periods this year - the second arrived on D42 but hey - I haven't had an unmedicated period since 2007 so I'll take it. But that is it. Last chance for us to have a child. What will happen in the event of a negative outcome is anyone's guess and we've shelved that to resolve another time...