Wednesday, 29 July 2009

waiting time


Second IUI took place this afternoon, and now we wait. Seventeen days until POAS, how did we get through it last time? Significant Other isn't good at waiting, in fact he's quite pants at it. They kept us waiting for almost an hour at the clinic and Significant Other was up and down like a jack-in-the-box, anxiously asking when it would be our turn. In the end I suggested that he go back to work but just as he jumped up eagerly to leave, we were called.

And so we wait...

Tuesday, 28 July 2009

moving on a-pace

Who would have thunk it, tiny follicle is now apparently about ready to pop. I was amazed at today's scan as past experience has taught me that this part of the process takes my body over a week. Still, I am not complaining! I was shuttled from the ultrasound room to the clinical area and given my HCG injection and the IUI takes place tomorrow at mid-day.

I'm far too wary to be excited. Significant Other is having a stressful day at work so all he could say when I told him that tomorrow was the day was "it's going to be very difficult taking 2 hours off". He doesn't mean it, he's just scared of getting excited, same as I am.

But, cautious though I'm being, I still can't help looking at my glass of diet coke and hoping, hoping, hoping that it will be my last for several months...

Monday, 27 July 2009

lists


I had the second ovulation scan this afternoon, little follicle had grown a minuscule amount since Friday. Back again tomorrow...

It's another blue day. I'm not sure why so I've decided to blame the frankly un-summery weather and to distract myself by making a list of things to do between now and the IUI. I love lists, they give me something tangible to do, and give my life structure during that brief 5 minutes between making the list and losing the list.
  1. drink some wine, that lovely Blossom Hill White Zinfandel I like so much
  2. have as much coffee as I like, and make sure it's the good stuff, not instant
  3. have poached eggs on toast for supper one night
  4. use the lavender bath oil I was given for my birthday
  5. clean out the kitty litter - okay, not so much of a treat but still something I can't do while waiting to POAS...
As I've said before, it's the little things...

Sunday, 26 July 2009

reasons to be cheerful


Sunday evenings are blue times. It's the end of the weekend, it's the start of another 5 days at work, it's when I weigh myself and usually find out that I haven't lost an ounce.

But - what never fails to lift my mood:
  • http://icanhascheezburger.com/
  • http://www.theonion.com/content/index
  • a cup of tea and a chocolate digestive
  • my cat

Saturday, 25 July 2009

birthday


It was my birthday yesterday, celebrations started with leaving the house early to go to the clinic for my first ovulation scan of this cycle. A follicle, as I live and breathe! Tiny, naturally, as the day 10 scan is far too early for my messed up 40-day cycle, but a follicle nonetheless. This was followed by the joy that is having my blood taken. I have small and impish veins; just as the nurse thinks she's in, little vein decides to go for a wander a little more to the left. Nurse pursues with needle, vein double-backs, nurse and needle follow. Finally stabbed and blood extracted, little vein shows its disapproval of the process by bleeding freely for some considerable time.

We spent the rest of the day wandering around the South Bank and getting soaked. It was a nice day and I enjoyed spending some rare time with Significant Other. But the thought would keep creeping in - I was meant to have a 10-day old baby by now.

Wednesday, 22 July 2009

TWA

I work at one of the London hospitals which dealt with the injured from the July 7th bombings in 2005. It's not a day that any Londoner will ever forget. At our hospital non-urgent outpatient clinics were cancelled so that the nursing and medical staff could instead go and help out in A&E, theatres, and wards with room for the expected influx. People like me were used as runners, going from ward to pharmacy, from A&E to labs delivering forms, messages and in some cases anxious relatives as the portering service was stretched to the max moving patients and equipment from one place to another.

Then at about 3.30 an email from the chief executive told us non-essentials to start making our way home. In the final paragraph the CE issued some special instructions. As reprisal attacks had already begun, Asian staff members were advised to wear their hospital ID, complete with NHS lanyards, displayed prominently.

In the days and weeks that followed almost every one of my non-Caucasian friends had something to tell about their commutes to and from work. Mostly it was that no-one would sit next to us, regardless of how full the bus or tube carriage was. Often people would be quite obviously keeping an eye out, anxiously starting at any sudden movements and shifting away pointedly from shopping bags. For a long while none of my friends would listen to their MP3 players or use their mobiles on public transport. It was summer so outer clothing was minimal but lots of people wondered what would happen if this atmosphere of mistrust continued into the winter.

What brought those days so clearly to mind was an incident on the way home this evening. A friend of mine had sent me a small parcel to work. It has "fragile" written on all sides and so I was carrying it carefully in my hands and not casually tucked under my arm when I got on the bus. And I noticed that the driver eyed my parcel, as did 2 other people I walked past on my way to the top deck. The woman I sat down next to flinched away from me, eyes darting first nervously to my face and then dropping down to the parcel. She relaxed marginally as she read the hospital address written clearly on the top, but she took the first opportunity she had to move to a seat several rows behind for the rest of the journey.

It all just brought it home to me that I will probably now be forever guilty of travelling while Asian.

Tuesday, 21 July 2009

it's the little things


Goldilocks "forgot" again to replace the biscuits she Hoovered up.

I know it must seem like I'm a bit obsessed but it's the little things that get to you, isn't it? In the past 7 months, Goldilocks has bought exactly zero packets of biscuits but has continually helped herself when JJ, Barbara Woodhouse, Garbo and I have provided the provender.

It was only a packet of custard creams but it's not the money, it's the principal...