the day so far

Woke up and everything was normal.
Had coffee.
Cleaned the kitchen.
Made more coffee.
Then he said it was either leaving me or going on anti-depressants.
He'd decided leaving me was the more appealing option.
He packed his bags and he's gone.

What now? What do I do now?

day 7: a photo that makes me happy

I know it's probably cheating but - to hell with it - nothing makes me happier:

twenty of the best

I'm finding this 30-day blog journal tougher than I anticipated. Nevertheless, onwards with day 6: in no particular order - twenty of my favourite things.

1. Chocolate. 'Nuff said.
2. Coffee, especially the lovely, aromatic grounds with cinnamon from the old-fashioned grocer-shop near where I live.
3. Rose and geranium body lotion from Ne@l's Y@rd Remedies. Bonkers expensive but oh, such a lovely treat a couple of times a year.
4. D@unt Books on Maryleb0ne High Street. I can't count the hours I have lost myself in there.
5. "0n the S@nds" by Har0ld H@rvey - I love this painting and I have a print of it hanging above the desk. My friend Too bought it for me 15 years ago, after we spent a summer week in Wales, reading on the beach.
6. Reading. Again, 'nuff said
7. This ALI blogging community. I've said it before and I will say it again but - I don't know how I would have got through this past year or so without you.
8. Diet c0ke. It's a guilty pleasure.
9. My MP3 player. I never leave the house without it.
10. My camera. I never leave the house without that either.
11. My 10-year-old pink zip-up hoodie. It is soft, warm, comfortable and unexpectedly flattering - what more can a woman want from an item of clothing?
12. Hot chocolate with marshmallows - heaven in a mug.
13. C@mden L0ck Market. It has changed so much since I used to spend happy Saturdays there with friends as a teenager in the 80s but I still love it (though better in the winter when there are fewer tourists).
14. Not setting the alarm clock at the weekend. I'm not really one for long lie-ins but not getting out of bed until 8.00am on Saturday and Sunday mornings is just delicious.
15. Scr@bble. I love it, although Significant Other won't play the board game with me, so I play on In Yer F@ceb00k with - well, anyone who offers really.
16. My hair straighteners. Without them I have a barnet that resembles M0nica in "Fr1ends" when she goes to Barbad0s.
17. The power shower in the bathroom. I had it put in 2 days after moving in, it cost so much money especially after just buying the flat, that I had to live off scrambled eggs and bananas (not on the same plate) for 6 weeks just to help pay for it. But even now, 12 years later, worth every penny.
18. The fluffy red blanket we keep on the sofa. Snuggled under that, watching tv on a winter's evening everything seems right.
19. Significant Other. Despite the horrible and painful times we are going through right now, whatever happens he will always be the father of my children.
20. My darling little cat.

recommended reading

A little while ago, B recommended this book for the way it deals with grief. I got all excited because I bought and read a copy years ago when my BFF died. I turned the flat upside down in my hunt for it to no avail, but I did uncover this, which I bought after we lost Starchild.

I can't believe I had forgotten it because I found it to be incredibly sensitive, moving, helpful. It is rather UK-centric as well, in its practical advice, but the experiences other women share within the book made me feel like perhaps I wasn't lost in the wilderness all alone. (I found this book before I found the online ALI community).

Anyway, I recommend it.

and I quote

30-day blog journal, day 5: my favourite quote.

I don't know who said this first (it's attributed to a few people if you G0ogle it) but I still love it:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand - strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming holy sh1t - what a ride!"

(This photo is from my birthday celebration with some friends. There's gold leaf in them there cocktails. Seriously. Gold leaf!)

I hate...

...this advert so much I visited the website and voted "not pregnant" 7 times.

I have turned into a bitter, envious woman.

my favourite book

There is no way I can pick one favourite book.

Or five favourite books.

Or fifty.

So I'm cheating (again) and listing the three books I've re-read most often.

The H@ppy Pris0ner by M0nica Dicken.s
The Br0ntes Went to W0olw0rths by Rachel Fergus0n
Persuasi0n by J@ne Aust.en

I'm not a very modern girl, me...